


3

by Machmto



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt, Heartache, Heartbreak, M/M, Misunderstandings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-10
Updated: 2019-07-10
Packaged: 2020-06-25 19:55:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19752724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Machmto/pseuds/Machmto
Summary: Sho wants to close the gap once and for all





	3

**Author's Note:**

> Unbeta-ed, all mistakes are mine but enjoy!!

"Sakurai-kun ?"

Sho turned around to look at Jun who just finished the meeting with the staff.

"Hm ?"

"What are you doing here ?"

It's four in the morning, Sho shouldn't be here. The other three already went home before the clock strikes twelve, he wasn't needed for any further meetings. So why is Sho still here ? Even Sho himself couldn't figure out the reason behind it.

So Sho just simply shrugged and offer Jun one of his beers that he bought earlier.

"No thanks, I've drank enough today" he said while fixing his glasses.

"Are you still sober ?"

"Yes, well not entirely sober, but am definitely not drunk"

Then they both went silent.

"Let's get drunk" Sho said once he gathered all his thoughts.

"I'm sorry, what ?" Jun raised one of his eyebrows in confusion.

"Like I said, let's get drunk. You and me, in a bar" Sho knew this invitation was risky. He has drama shooting tomorrow, and so does Jun. Not to mention Jun's horrifying meeting schedules. Who knows what'll happen if they both get drunk, they'll get scolded by their managers for sure. 

"Why ?"

Because I need to talk to you and I need some alcohol push to get it out of my mouth he managed not to say. Instead he just shrugged and let out a sigh. Jun just stared at him before he gives in and sighed. 

"Why not"

-

It's quiet, they both were quiet. Since they stepped inside the bar they were both quiet. Sometimes Sho would glance at Jun, but Jun didn't look at him. He's just staring at his beer.

"Sakurai-kun" Jun finally said after what seemed to be his third glass. Sho, who was drinking his beer, gave him an innocent look. At the time, Sho already drank more than Jun has, he's no longer sober but he's not drunk yet, at least he's not really drunk.

"W.. why are you staying late ?" he asked again, he seemed to be not quite satisfied about Sho's reply earlier.

"There's something I want to talk to you" Jun raised one of his eyebrows while drinking. It took Sho a while before he gather up his courage and speak up. 

"Jun-kun, you know lately you've been distant to me, well not lately because you've been distant to me for years, but I've been meaning to ask... Why ?"

Jun's expression turned into a frown, a sad frown. He looked away for a few minutes. Sho wondered whether he should regret his question or not, he was hoping for answers only, that's all.

The Jun he knew a few years ago was different than now. He used to call him Sho-kun, following him wherever he goes, admiring him, asking him to tutor him, and even claiming to be Sho's biggest fan. Sho loved him and likewise.

But it changed, he changed. From Sho-kun, it gradually changes to Sho-san to Sakurai-kun and at some point Sakurai-san, Jun has only use Sakurai-kun lately after a few years calling him Sakurai-san. They almost never talked to each other in private, except if it's about work or upcoming concert meetings. He's fine with Aiba or Nino or Ohno, but when it comes to Sho, he always distanced himself.

Sho felt like he did nothing wrong, or he didn't realized what he did wrong. He has been fine with it. But suddenly two years ago, Sho missed Jun. He suddenly felt like he once again fallen in love with him. He started to wonder where, when did it go wrong.

And finally right there, right now, he got to ask the one question he's been asking to himself.

"A.." Jun stopped before he could finish, taking one last deep breath before he speaks.

"Are you stupid ?" He said, still hasn't turn around. His back was still facing Sho.

"What ?" Sho raised his head again, this time his hand touched Jun's shoulder, making him twitched.

"You're kidding right ?" Jun said dismissively. He fake laughed then he moved Sho's fingers away. Sho kept silent.

"Are you fucking kidding me ? Are you joking right now ?" He said, half shouting, voice a little bit broken.

"Are you mad at me ?" Sho asked this time he squeezed Jun's arm before slowly turning the chair so Jun is facing him again.

Jun sobbed.

"Seriously? You're the one who pushed me away. You're the one who fucking told me not to call you anymore because you're busy and you don't have time for me. You're the one who ignored me and telling me that I'm not good enough. And yet you asked me why ? Why I suddenly being distant to you ? Honestly Sho I'm so done with you"

Everything he said, is true. It's true and it hurts Sho even more. Guilt filled his heart, and he frowned. Jun was already crying, but he didn't leave the bar, and Sho thanked him for that. Jun wiped his tears with his jacket but it didn't stop. Sho couldn't say anything, he kept silent.

After a few minutes, Jun has calmed down a bit. But Sho still haven't said a single word. Jun stroked his hair, frustrated, before looking up to Sho and looked him in the eyes. Jun's eyes demand answers, demand his reply.

His eyes are filled with sadness.

But instead of replying, Sho couldn't think of anything but leaning forward and caught Jun's lips unguarded. He kissed him, but he didn't reply and Sho immediately lean back. Jun was shocked, instead he got more frustrated and confused.

He got hurt.

Jun slapped Sho's cheek before finishing his beer. "Pathetic, you" he said before he packed his stuff.

"And pathetic, me" he said before he stormed off leaving Sho behind. But Sho didn't plan on leaving the matter unsolved, he paid the beer and immediately run and chase Jun.

The sky was also in sorrow, heavy rain started to pour on them. Sho kept calling Jun's name while he chases him, and Jun kept closing his ears, avoiding hearing his voice calling out his name and running for his sake. After they ran for a while, Jun was out of breath and had to stop. Sho was able to keep up.

"I'm sorry, Jun" he shouted between his breaths. But Jun didn't turn around. Sho walked closer to him, they were still in the rain.

"I'm sorry, I realized that it was all my fault. I shouldn't have hurt you. It was foolish of me to think that I did nothing wrong. You have every right to hate me, but Jun I'm begging you for forgiveness. We can start over" Sho said, now he's just a few inches away. Jun just laughed, pathetically.

"You're so funny, Sakurai-san" he said in a low voice, but Sho was able to hear it and that Sakurai-san hurts him even more.

"I hate this you know, chasing after you but then you left and now you came back. My heart isn't a toy, Sakurai-san, my heart isn't for playing" he said, voice completely broken. Once again guilt filled Sho's body. Sho gulped before he took a deep breath and speak.

"Sho" Sho said, and with that Jun finally turned around.

"Huh ?"

"Call me Sho" he begged, but Jun just smiled sadly.

"I don't want to" Jun said, slowly.

"Call me Sho and I'll never get in your way again. Call me Sho and I'll never talk to you again. Call me Sho and I'll never break your heart again. Call me Sho and I'll never interact with you again. Call me Sho..." He stopped now looking at Jun's eyes.

"...and I'll never love you again" his hand reached for Jun's cheek. He caress it without realizing that tears already fall out from his eyes. Unexpectedly Jun leaned on Sho's warmth, even though it's cold.

"I... I can't, because no matter how much I hate you, no matter how much you hurt me, no matter what you did, I'm still in love with you even after all these years. I tried to bury it deep but it never fade away. It's stupid right? There's so many times where I'm at my limit, and I wanted to tell you how much I love you, but you seemed so far away and so unreachable I decided it's best for me to keep on trying to move on from you. It's foolish that my heart keeps holding on to you. I can't call you Sho, because then..." he trailed off, now his eyes are staring at Sho's. He touched Sho's hand who's still cupping Jun's cheek.

"Because then you'll stop loving me" he finally gives in. Sho cried and pulled him into a hug. He rubbed Jun's back so he'll calm down. He couldn't think about anything else at the moment. Jun was still holding on to his feelings even though he didn't want to, they both wanted to reach out to each other but afraid the other party won't. Sho's the one who pulled away, squeezing Jun's shoulder.

"Then... Call me Sho and I promise to love you and treasure you again" he said with a smile, the rain has stopped at the time. Jun hesitated before he nods.

"Sho" he said with a smile.

"Jun" he pulled Jun's body closer and kissed him.


End file.
